In the real estate world, we talk a lot about value: the value per square meter, the value of the location, the value of the project. However, there is a value that rarely appears in our market analyses, even though we experience it every day: the value of genuine exchange between people.
In this sector, where relationships with clients, partners, and teams are the true asset, reciprocity determines whether a relationship builds or weakens. The same is true outside of any office, contract, or commission; it applies to friendships, family, and every space where we choose to invest our energy.
For a long time, I held the idea that giving without expecting anything in return was a superior virtue, a noble expression of the soul. Over the years, I've come to understand that this premise, taken to extremes, is an elegant trap. Not because we should measure every gesture before offering it, but because living in constant giving without receiving anything back isn't generosity: it's exhaustion disguised as virtue. And that exhaustion, if left unaddressed, sooner or later turns into resentment.
That's why I learned to ask myself uncomfortable questions: What do I get out of this space where I'm giving so much? Am I giving from genuine conviction or from fear of disappointing others? Does this project, this relationship, or this team deserve to continue receiving the best of me? Honest answers don't come immediately, but they do. And when they do, they change everything.
There's a distinction that transformed how I evaluate relationships. Some people give you 35% because that percentage is genuinely their 100%; their current situation, their history, and their ability simply don't allow for more. That effort deserves respect and patience. On the other hand, there are those who could give more but choose not to. In those cases, we're not facing a limitation, but a choice. And that decision also says a lot about where we should continue to invest our energy.
I deeply believe in service. I believe in being that support that accompanies another person to take the steps they need. However, I've learned that being a crutch longer than necessary isn't helpful: it's preventing the other person from discovering they can walk on their own. Choosing environments where giving and receiving are a mutual practice isn't selfishness; it's consistency. It's recognizing that your time, your presence, and your creativity are finite resources, and that you deserve to invest them where they will truly bear fruit.
Reciprocity isn't about keeping score or demanding a balance. It's something much more subtle: the feeling that the exchange has a life of its own, that it flows in both directions, and that no one leaves an encounter feeling emptier than when they arrived. When that doesn't happen, whether in business, friendship, or on a team, that very absence acts as a compass, gently indicating that something is amiss.
Listening to it in time is, perhaps, the most honest act of love we can have for ourselves.
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